why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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