He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize