Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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