I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
