The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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