he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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