people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
