so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
