I will die if light touches me.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
