it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
