I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
