Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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