i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
