peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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