it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
