Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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