so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How does one acquire holy water?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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