my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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