I think i peed on brittanys purse
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Houston, we have a squirter
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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