i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
