i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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