Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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