Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
