This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
