I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize