I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
