i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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