I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
