we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
