Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
