if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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