and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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