And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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