Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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