Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
where am i from again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
