I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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