Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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