:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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