He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
you never un-have a 4some
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
