May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
