i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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