Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I need moral support for this bender
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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