So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
