Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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