I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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