when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
