she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my shit smells like andre
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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