Fuck appropriateness.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
What a dumb baby whore.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
