It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
