Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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