i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
