i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
