I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
