just come out here and I will go home with you...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize