Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
