so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
