chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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