Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
