That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
