you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
where does the pee come out of this thing
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
