You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just pee around me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
