I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
