Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
