I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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