the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So many bounce houses so little time
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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