What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
