Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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