I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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