Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
