sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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