I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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